Friday, August 27, 2010

I can't wait to...

Right before I got pregnant, I feel like I was really beginning to find my "style" and figure out what kind of outfits made me feel really happy (regardless of how many "wtf?" looks I got):

(apparently I really like black leggings...)
and then as the months went by...I didn't fit into any of my "cool" clothes. I have been wearing the same black maternity pants for MONTHS now...
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:
Now let me just say that these pants are SUPER COMFY, but come on now, they are falling apart from being worn SO much!
At least I have my amazing "diaper bag" that shows that I at least have an ounce of style left in me...
I just can't wait to be able to expand my wardrobe past the like, 2 t-shirts that fit me right now!

Here's the update on Konnor, you know...what everyone actually cares about... :p
He is about 90% holding up his head all on his own! And lately he has been focusing very hard and getting his fist into his mouth. He just pulls his head as hard as he can towards his fist like, "COME ON! That thing has been in my mouth before! How to I get to it?" Still working on hand-eye coordination you see. Today, he FINALLY got his fist in his mouth and he was really smiley and happy, it was ADORABLE.

AND Steve finally found our camera so I can start taking pictures again YAY!
'til next time...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Oh, hello again!

Uuhh...yeah...all I can say is...Oops? I forgot about this blog for a little while, but my excuse life got pretty crazy there for a minute!
So finally, everyone is sleeping now (except for me) so I can steal a minute or two away and update everyone on my life as wife and now, officially as mommy.

So, when you are pregnant, everyone tries to "prepare" you for the hardships of mommyhood. They warn you of the pain of labor, the late nights/early morning, the crying, the poopy diapers, etc...but let me tell you...those things are NOTHING compared to the EMOTIONAL changes you have to face after seeing your little one for the first time.

It's like, within seconds, nothing in the entire world matters as much as they do. It's hard to explain. It's like, when Konnor cries, it's literally like having a knife stabbed through my heart. Something just, takes over and my number one concern, no matter what I'm doing at that moment, is to make him feel better and it's EXCRUCIATING when I am unable to make it "all better".

For example, Konnor and I got off to start with the whole breastfeeding thing. He was too tired and groggy to want to learn how to eat. He didn't eat for the first 24 hours of life (which is kinda normal ish, but after 24 hours...people start to get worried). When he finally realized how hungry he was...he started WAILING in pain. His poor little baby eyes were even dripping real life tears. And there was NOTHING. I. COULD. DO. I didn't know how to feed him yet, and he hadn't figured it out either. I was just sitting in the hospital bed, crying my eyes out as he cried his eyes out. It seemed like an eternity as I struggled and struggled to get him to latch on, but we just couldn't figure it out. I wish I could explain what that felt like. It's just like someone rips your heart right out.
Of course, after NUMEROUS lactation consultants came to help ANGEL FROM GOD finally came and worked her magic and Konnor latched on like a pro on the first try. I will love that lactation consultant forever. From then on, we've had our ups and downs, but everything is going great :)
See? Happy baby --->

It's just crazy how no one warns you about things like that. A few days after Konnor was born, Steve and I had to drive about 45 minutes to pick up our "new" car (that's a whole other story) and the entire time I was away from him, I just bawled my eyes out. It was like, physically painful to be away from him, even if it was only a short time.

So there is something I have learned since having little K man... and I will hopefully remember to update with everything else soon!