Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Oh, hello again!

Uuhh...yeah...all I can say is...Oops? I forgot about this blog for a little while, but my excuse is...my life got pretty crazy there for a minute!
So finally, everyone is sleeping now (except for me) so I can steal a minute or two away and update everyone on my life as wife and now, officially as mommy.

So, when you are pregnant, everyone tries to "prepare" you for the hardships of mommyhood. They warn you of the pain of labor, the late nights/early morning, the crying, the poopy diapers, etc...but let me tell you...those things are NOTHING compared to the EMOTIONAL changes you have to face after seeing your little one for the first time.

It's like, within seconds, nothing in the entire world matters as much as they do. It's hard to explain. It's like, when Konnor cries, it's literally like having a knife stabbed through my heart. Something just, takes over and my number one concern, no matter what I'm doing at that moment, is to make him feel better and it's EXCRUCIATING when I am unable to make it "all better".

For example, Konnor and I got off to a...er...rocky start with the whole breastfeeding thing. He was too tired and groggy to want to learn how to eat. He didn't eat for the first 24 hours of life (which is kinda normal ish, but after 24 hours...people start to get worried). When he finally realized how hungry he was...he started WAILING in pain. His poor little baby eyes were even dripping real life tears. And there was NOTHING. I. COULD. DO. I didn't know how to feed him yet, and he hadn't figured it out either. I was just sitting in the hospital bed, crying my eyes out as he cried his eyes out. It seemed like an eternity as I struggled and struggled to get him to latch on, but we just couldn't figure it out. I wish I could explain what that felt like. It's just like someone rips your heart right out.
Of course, after NUMEROUS lactation consultants came to help me...one ANGEL FROM GOD finally came and worked her magic and Konnor latched on like a pro on the first try. I will love that lactation consultant forever. From then on, we've had our ups and downs, but everything is going great :)
See? Happy baby --->

It's just crazy how no one warns you about things like that. A few days after Konnor was born, Steve and I had to drive about 45 minutes to pick up our "new" car (that's a whole other story) and the entire time I was away from him, I just bawled my eyes out. It was like, physically painful to be away from him, even if it was only a short time.

So there is something I have learned since having little K man... and I will hopefully remember to update with everything else soon!



4 comments:

  1. And he is only a month old, you will cry for months. You will wake in the middle of the night and check to make sure he is still breathing. You will worry constantly. But somehow it doesn't matter because he is yours and will always be yours. It's a great feeling. I wish I would have told you about the crying but I tend to think that at times, it is only just me..lol. Maddy is almost 7 months old, I still worry (cry less) and check on her at least 3 times a night. I hear we will do this for the rest of our lives.

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  2. He's actually 2 months today! But yeah, no one warned me about those strng emotions that seemingly come out of no where! Maybe everyone thinks it's "just them"' kwim? I check on his breathing constantly, but luckily i got an Angel Care monitor for night time... If he stops breathing, a super loud alarm goes off to alert us! Even with that I still check! lol

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  3. :)
    I'll def. need you to warn me about all of this when the time comes for me. because... I'm an emotional wreck right now.. I can only imagine.

    Your doing great btw :)

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  4. Thanks Jewels, and don't worry...I'll remind you, but honestly...nothing can prepare you for it! At least you'll know that it's normal! It's scary, but also really amazing at the same time...hard to explain...but you'll know all about it in..what...6 years? OUR KIDS NEED TO BE CLOSE IN AGE JULIE. How else can they be friends? lol.

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