Saturday, January 22, 2011

WARNING: The Baby Is Not A Toy!!

That's right, the baby is not a toy, accessory, or something to use for your own selfish gain!
A baby is a human being. A small, chubby, and cute human being, but still a human being and person!

Ok Michelle, we get it. Baby=Person. Where are you going with this?

Well, I just get very upset when I read about or hear about people who think of babies as accessories, like a purse or pair of shoes! I was watching a video on YouTube made by my favorite blogger/YouTube person about what she did today while waiting for her baby to be born (she is six days overdue!). The video is very cute and she shows some cute outfits and things that she got for the baby. That's all fine and wonderful. However, I was reading some of the comments on her video and one in particular made me mad! One commenter was like, "Those little outfits are so cute, they make me want to have a baby! No, seriously, I want to have a baby now!"


Now, I'm straight up assuming that this commenter was a teenager because of the way the comment was written (I paraphrased above) and that makes me want to scream, "You should not have a baby just so you can dress it in cute clothes!"!

Having a baby is a massive responsibility. MASSIVE. You are completely responsible for the life and upbringing of that child. If you mess up raising that child, that could have major consequences on society as a whole! You aren't just messing with your own future, you are messing with another human being's future and the futures of everyone around that human being. They don't call it "raising a child" because you watch it grow up! You literally "raise up" or create a human physically, emotionally, socially, etc.

Recently I read a news article about some high school in the south where 90 students were either pregnant or had given birth in the last year. I don't think the high school was very big either. I've also heard stories about girls who enter into "pregnancy pacts" or have babies because they think it's "so cute!". Don't even get me STARTED on the sensationalization of motherhood via Teen Mom and other media outlets.

I know a lot of young girls think that having a baby will just be "omgz s0 cUtE!" and you get to dress the baby in all the newest fashions and give the baby cute little bottles and tickle the baby, listen to it giggle, and then gently rock it to sleep at night where in sleeps in it's crib peacefully until morning.

Sure, you do get to do those things (except for the gently rocking to sleep blah blah blah part) BUT there is so much more involved that I don't think most of these girls (or ANY mother for that matter) are truly ready for. I don't think anyone is ever "ready" to have a baby, but definitely not when you are a teenager or just because you think that a sequin encrusted onesie will match perfectly with your sequin encrusted stilettos.

Now, I love Konnor. He is the light of my life. A lot of things about motherhood surprised me, but at least I didn't live in a fantasy world before he got here! I knew that I was going to have to sacrifice almost everything for him and do whatever was best for him no matter the cost because news flash, it's not about me anymore. AT ALL. If you are going to be a responsible parent, you have to put your child before your own wants and needs.

The girls who live in a fantasy land about what having a baby is like, in their fantasy land, it's still all about THEM. How the baby will make THEM feel. How cute the baby's outfit will look with THEIR outfit. How the baby's father will stay with THEM if they get pregnant (which usually doesn't work).

It's just so.....sad.

Everyone in that scenario suffers. The mother who gets a huge dose of reality and the baby who could be resented and possibly neglected or mistreated. I'm not saying that that's always how the scenario ends up, but even if HALF of the cases end that way, that's too many. I'm also not talking about girls who get pregnant on "accident". I'm talking about girls who PURPOSEFULLY get pregnant because they think it will make them popular/be "so cute"/help them keep their boyfriend.

I just hate it when people use babies for their own selfish gains. Just because a baby is small and isn't a big kid or an adult doesn't mean that their life has any less value and that it's okay to treat them or think of them as toys or things to be used. We as a culture definitely need to stop teaching young girls that being pregnant and having a baby is so glamourous and that babies are just toys.

From where I'm sitting, it's not glamourous. My hair is dirty, I'm still in my pajamas (yupp at 7pm!) and I'm definitely not on the cover of a magazine. Also, my baby is not a toy. He is a person and some day he will be a grown man. And hopefully, if I do my job right, he will be a caring, loving, honest, trustworthy, hard working, and strong man.

Having a baby requires some sense of responsibility and I fear that the girls who want a baby for the WRONG reasons can't even be trusted to have a puppy.

/end rant


  1. I love this!! I think it's 100% true. I've also heard of the "pregnancy pacts" and I think it's ridiculous. I'm not a parent and I want to smack these KIDS. :( I think your doing an amazing job with Konnor and I look forward to your help in the future :) & I thought you looked good when I visited last. In fact, I'm in sweats, no makeup and I cant tell ya the last time I washed my hair :( [[ugh, I hope nobody judges that last statement.haha]].

    it's just sickening how much people, young and old, underestimate the amount of time, energy and responsibility that comes with having a child..


  2. I totally agree! Society portrays having a baby as this easy and glamorous thing, but in reality it's a big responsibility. Another problem I've encountered is the pressure from others of having a kid. Many of my high school and college friends are married with kids, and many times I hear "when are you having kids?" (my husband and I have been married 6 years). We decided as a couple we were not ready to have kids so we are keeping our family just the two of us. Yet many times I feel like we are still expected to have them, and I feel like giving in to social pressure is not a very good reason to do so either. People need to be responsible when they make a life changing decision.